your room smells of hookers.
And success
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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