I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I have aggressive nipples.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
