Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
