Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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