i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
