Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
we're so committed to being not committed
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
