4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
