WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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