The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
