is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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