I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize