what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
