is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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