i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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