I'm drive I can fine osifer
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
