i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
