My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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