Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
