hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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