i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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