if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
