Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
