Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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