Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
