I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
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