I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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