we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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