We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
