You work out of a Hotel?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
