so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
