So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize