Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
