I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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