How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
