it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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