someone get that fucking seahorse.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
