I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I want to fling myself into the sun
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
