i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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