What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
