i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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