I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize