she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
