Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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