Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
