his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
