all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize