adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize