I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
