You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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