overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
