As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
