Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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