Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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