I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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