Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
