When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
