why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
