i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
