peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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