seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
