pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
