i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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