we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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