I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
