He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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