You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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