You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
