Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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