I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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