she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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